Stronger together: How couples counseling supports military families
TWENTYNINE PALMS, Calif. — Military life can place unique demands on relationships, from extended separations and demanding operational schedules to the challenges of maintaining communication through periods of stress. At Naval Hospital Twentynine Palms, a Navy chaplain is encouraging service members and their partners to take a proactive approach to relationship health by seeking support before small challenges become larger problems.
Lt. Cmdr. Nicholas Suddath, command chaplain for Navy Medicine Readiness and Training Command Twentynine Palms, provides individual and couples counseling to help service members and their families navigate relationship challenges, strengthen communication and develop skills to maintain healthy relationships.
According to Suddath, couples counseling is not reserved for relationships experiencing serious difficulties. Instead, it can serve as a preventive resource, helping couples recognize potential concerns, better understand one another and build stronger foundations for their relationships.
"The sooner the better," Suddath said when asked when couples should consider seeking support. "There does not have to be a major problem."
Suddath explained that communication and expectations are among the most common challenges he addresses during counseling sessions. While couples may struggle with different concerns, he said many disagreements stem from difficulty expressing feelings, communicating needs or understanding one another's expectations. For service members, those challenges can be compounded by the demands of military service.
"Military members sometimes have a hard time expressing how they are truly feeling due to the conflict in their job and their home lives," Suddath said.
During counseling, Suddath works to create an environment where both partners can openly discuss their concerns and better understand each other's perspectives. By asking questions and encouraging honest conversations, he helps couples address feelings or frustrations that might otherwise go unspoken.
Those conversations can be especially important in an operational environment such as Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center Twentynine Palms, where deployments, demanding schedules and the remote location can place additional pressure on military families.
Suddath identified deployment and isolation as two significant challenges facing couples in Twentynine Palms, emphasizing the importance of community connections and support networks in helping families navigate those pressures.
"The stronger the community, the better the support for the couple themselves," Suddath said.
Beyond individual counseling, chaplains offer premarital counseling, parenting support and relationship counseling. They also coordinate with the Chaplains Religious Enrichment Development Operation, commonly known as CREDO, to provide marriage and family retreats designed to strengthen communication and equip couples with practical relationship skills.
For couples hesitant to seek counseling, Suddath emphasized that the process begins with listening, understanding and establishing trust rather than immediately confronting difficult subjects.
Chaplains provide a nonjudgmental environment where couples can discuss their concerns with a neutral party focused on helping them work toward healthier relationships. Initial conversations may be followed by practical exercises and additional sessions to evaluate progress.
Suddath also encourages couples to practice communication techniques in their daily lives, including allowing each partner to finish speaking without interruption, repeating what they heard to confirm understanding and avoiding accusatory language.
Rather than approaching disagreements with statements such as "you always do this," he recommends expressing personal feelings and asking questions that encourage constructive conversations.
He also advises couples to avoid addressing difficult subjects when emotions are running high. Taking a break and returning to the conversation when both partners are calmer can help prevent disagreements from escalating.
The goal, he explained, is not simply to resolve an individual disagreement but to strengthen understanding and bring couples closer together.
Recognizing when additional support may be beneficial is equally important. Suddath said growing emotional distance between partners can be an early indication that a relationship would benefit from outside guidance.
Seeking help at that stage can provide an opportunity to address concerns before they develop into more serious challenges.
"We are about changing the trajectory of where the relationship is headed," Suddath said.
Couples seeking additional support may also have access to counseling services through Military OneSource and the Military and Family Life Counseling Program. Both offer free, confidential, nonmedical counseling to eligible service members and family members navigating relationship difficulties, stress and other challenges associated with military life.
According to TRICARE, marriage counseling may also be covered when medically necessary to treat a diagnosed mental health disorder. Beneficiaries can contact their TRICARE regional contractor or local military treatment facility's referrals team to learn more about coverage requirements and available providers.
While couples counseling can help strengthen relationships, access to a broader support network is also important when navigating personal challenges, emotional stress or difficult life circumstances.
Service members and their families aboard Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center Twentynine Palms have access to a variety of resources, including chaplains, the Naval Hospital Twentynine Palms Adult Medical Care Clinic's mental health services and other installation support programs.
These resources provide opportunities to seek guidance, address concerns and connect with professional support before challenges become overwhelming. Individuals experiencing significant emotional distress or a mental health crisis may require more immediate assistance.
The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline offers free, confidential support around the clock. Service members, veterans and their loved ones can reach the Veterans Crisis Line by dialing 988 and pressing 1. Anyone facing an immediate threat to their safety should call 911 or seek emergency medical care.
For Suddath, the message is simple: No one should feel they have to navigate life's challenges alone.
"You are cared for," Suddath said. "Let us help show you there is always hope."
Navy Medicine Readiness and Training Command Twentynine Palms operates Defense Health Agency military treatment facility Naval Hospital Twentynine Palms, which delivers safe, high-quality healthcare to service members and their families. The command supports the health and readiness of warfighters at Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center Twentynine Palms, the Marine Corps' largest live-fire training installation, while readying Navy Medicine personnel to provide expeditionary medical support around the world.
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